Living With Alzheimer's
The elderly are our living libraries. They are the receptacles of human understanding, wisdom and experience. They are all of these and more, inside a fragile, human frame. What happens when they can no longer care for themselves? What happens when their minds begin to wander?
There is a place, some call it senility, others call it Alzheimer's. This place is filled with memories of the past, present and future. These pieces of memory unravel from their tapestries and begin to form their own impressions on the mind. Many times, confusion results, but it is momentary, and sometimes necessary. One needs to shed these attachments to achieve enlightenment, and one must prepare for the journey to the ever after.
As a caretaker, it is imperative not to argue or correct our elders, but to reassure them that life continues on, and they need not worry. Sometimes this involves a bit of fabrication, but what are trivial truths in comparison to universal truth? If the old gentleman down the hall from your mother believes that they are married, let him as long as he remains a gentleman. He knows that faces change but connections do not. His earthly self remembers that he was married, but his spiritual, universal self knows that all souls are made of the same substance. If he asks who you are, perhaps you are his step-child. You gain a "family member", he gains another companion to reassure him during his waning years.
We can respect this place by remembering that the social order, even the family is what we have created. If an elder is breaking this order down it is to shed attachments, but retain the love and understanding behind them. Let the elders live in this place if they must. It is a preparation, a way-station for the journey to come. When they become frightened, it is the memory of a social order that nags at them to act properly. If he or she forgets your name, tell them again if they ask. If you are mistaken for someone else, do not argue but let them believe what they wish. This is not the time to proclaim your identity, to be the attention-hungry child. This is the time to listen, because all too soon the words will end and the soul's journey will begin.
-Michelle Groce
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