The Charge of the Error Goddess
Listen thee to the words of the Missing Page.
I who of old was also called among men:
"Damn it, where the hell did it go?"
and by so many other names(so very very many).
At mine altars the youth of various college computer departments across the world made due sacrifice.
(I shall not go into detail here, thou knowest what thou hast done)
Whenever ye shall work on a particular web site,
certainly at least once in the month,
and better it shall be when the Moon is Full
and while drinking beverages rich in caffiene,
then shall ye gather around the computer and run a link checker to ensure that I will never trouble thee.
I, who am the ruler of all neglected web sites and poorly coded home pages so decree.
There in that hallowed place, shall ye gather,
ye who are fain to master the test of navigation,
(yet have not at this time, won through to its deepest secrets):
to thee will I bare my . . . Secrets
and Guide thee in finding that which is broken and coding thy site until it is whole again.
And your site shall be free from errors
and as a sign that it be really free,
ye shall never, ever use animated background (without good reason, and unless it amuse thee);
and ye shall code, ftp, edit, create and write with skill and beauty and vigor, all to stave off my curse.
For my curse is at the sign of uncaring hands,
and mine also is joy of trial and error,
for my law is invoked at thy error.
Keep pure your code,
strive ever towards cross-platform compatibility,
and let naught stop you or turn you aside.
For mine is the password protected door which opens upon the secret mysteries
(via the .htaccess file)
as well as upon the errors of missing pages and overloaded servers,
and the no DNS entry error,
(which is the sign of WebWeaving Wickedness (and not the good kind).
Against that blessed day
when as a sign of Mine approval
Thou shalt see the physical manifestation of mine displeasure no more (i.e.: this webpage)
etcetera, etcetera, etcetera
Shoulds't thou wish to proceed
in a more or less orderly manner
Thou mights't try one of the links below:
Return to the Garden of Life Temple Main Page
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